Why did do you do it SNL? Why? I was perfectly content in life never watching your terrible, trite skits with no name hacks and confused celebrity hosts. I was very happy to stay as far away as your groan inducing brand of “humor” as possible. But you couldn’t just leave me alone, you had to do it, you had to let Zach Galifianakis host last night. You knew I would watch, you knew and you did it anyway.
To sum up quickly, last night’s episode of SNL was the worst hour of television I have ever seen. Note: I have not seen Leno’s recent return to late night so you know, maybe second worst.
In detail now: This show promises comedy, merriment, the general state of amusement. But what I saw only angered, only infuriated, only mocked the word comedy, and by the end of it, the laughter had been brutally murdered by SNL.
We open with an Obama skit. OK fine. Most eras of SNL parody their political leaders and this generation is no different. Problem is Obama isn’t funny, not like Palin, or W. Bush or Clinton’s sex scandals or Ross Perot. And the skit last night was pretty par for the course.
It was a full TWO MINUTES of talking before a joke was even uttered. You had Fred Armison as Obama stating flatly and basically the situation of health care reform. No jokes! Not one. Then when jokes do eventually appear, they’re carbon copies of Chris Farley’s Weekend Update character Bennet Brauer, who would use air quotes with his fingers. One skit in, and we have exactly one joke that was done exactly the same way fifteen years ago.
It’s at this point I fear for my beloved Zach. You see, Zach (I’m using his first name as Galifianakis is too hard to type and read constantly) has quickly become a star with movies like the Hangover (hang “over rated” if you ask me) and internet shows like the insanely uncomfortable Between Two Ferns he does on funnyordie.com. I have been a fan of his for a little while now, seeing his awkward piano playing brand of stand up online and on DVD. It’s great.
And to be fair, his opening monologue was terrific. It was actually the funniest part of the whole show, mostly because it was recycled jokes from all that stand up he’s done over the years. In fact, the above video- from NINE years ago- has several jokes used in his monologue. He even did the “That’s so Raven” joke, which has even been done in Twitter form. So nothing new there. Let’s get to the skits!
The skit where everyone is just kissing each other was atrocious (Whoa! Two dudes tonguing? Hilarious!). The skit where they repeat the word bidet over and over again was funny for 30 seconds tops. The skit with a drunk Kathie Lee impression was too painful to watch. Too fucking painful. I mean, it’s as if the writers were really trying to be unfunny. These are professional entertainers, paid money to write and perform fart jokes and homophobic skits. It’s appalling. The very worst was the Whats up with that? Skit. You guys. Seriously. It hurt. That skit ruined comedy for me. It was sooo fucking bad, so abysmal, even to the point of overt racism, I couldn’t really go on.
You have Paul Rudd in this skit, first of all. Paul Rudd. People, just let Paul and Zach chit chat for five minutes, off the cuff, and you’ll get results. What transpired on that stage of pain was not comedy, I submit it was psychological torture and no less.The premise is a talk show on BET, and our host, played by token SNL black actor Kenan Thompson (see also: Tracy Morgan, Tim Meadows, Chris Rock, etc.) comes on in full soul singer mode, with a fake jerry curl and leisure suit. Nothing offensive here. He then proceeds to sing the skit’s unusually extended theme song. “What’s up with that? What’s up with that? What’s up with that?” Just fucking repeating the title of the show over and over and over.
HOW IS THAT FUNNY?
In what universe is straight repetition of a phrase, which itself has zero humor value, a means of comedy? There’s no innuendo or double meaning, no misunderstanding of the sounds to make it appear otherwise. It’s just four boring words, repeated. And then two minutes later, he does it again. AGAIN! That’s the whole skit. That song was the entire reason for the whole thing. Fuuuuck! Everything in this entire episode was just a phrase or a joke repeated and explained. As if that’s comedy. As if that’s anything that anyone wants to see.
And poor poor Paul Rudd is just sitting there, next to a cardboard cut out of some NY columnist no one outside of Manhattan has ever heard of, just sitting there! Doing nothing! Why SNL? Zach wasn’t enough? You had to take another genuinely funny actor and ruin him in front of a live audience? Why do you hate comedy SNL? Whose responsible this?!?
And what was Zach’s contribution to this particular skit? He comes on and dances in a wig! Not funny! And what was Zach’s contribution to the very next skit, a boring as all hell CNN parody? He dances in a t shirt! Still not fucking funny.
Go to Hell SNL. I mean it. You guys are fucking fired. Get out of my office before I have security throw you out. You make me sick.
P.S. – This week’s musical guest Vampire Weekend still sucks too. But we already knew that much at least.
Let me leave you with some really funny Zach Galifianakis material. It may restore my faith. I hope it restores yours.