Have you ever had Deja Vu for an entire year? I feel like 2010 will be a year of films like few others, destined to be remembered as a mixtape of recycled ideas, icons, and classics. It will also be another huge year for sequels and franchises through and through. We are about to see a staggering number of reboots, adaptations, and continuations the likes of which has only been glimpsed in the past. It will be a dizzying conglomeration, sure to muddle the minds of future generations. In preparation, I’ve devised a little game: Sequel or Remake? Let’s start.
The Wolfman-Sequel or Remake?
Yes, they are the classic Hollywood monster, Lon Chaney’s iconic beastie. Points for the casting and period setting, and although director Joe Johnston has mucked up some other franchises (Jurassic park 3 anyone?) he looks to provide a decent, if not familiar, monster movie. I remember watching the original movie one Saturday afternoon at nine years old. Great atmosphere, here’s hoping they forego too much CG fog and claws.
Alice in Wonderland-Sequel or Remake?
Believe it or not, this movie is a supposed third part to the Alice in Wonderland story. Now, ever since Tim Burton remade Planet of the Apes, I have been decrying his tinkering of with perfect classics. Same went for the awful Charlie and the Chocolate blah blah blah.
So when I heard this was a sequel, and NOT a remake, I guess I thought that I would feel some relief. But this film looks like it’s still going to squash any beloved childhood memory I may still hold for the Disney or even literary versions (I have read the books you know). And this poster above I chose simply because all of the others look so ghastly I can hardly stand them. How I am to watch two hours of Johnny Depp and Helena Carter looking the way they do is beyond me. Yikes!
Clash of the Titans-Sequel or Remake?
Based on the flying dirt and bland metal soundtrack, this movie looks too manly for its own good. I still blame Gladiator. While the monsters and shit look cool, I get the feeling I’m going to be let down that Sam Worthington isn’t a Terminator or Avatar in this one. Sigh.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps-Sequel or Remake?
No poster or trailer yet, but this pic tells us three very important details about the upcoming Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps.
1) Michael Douglas looks ooooold.
2) Shia LaBeowulf still looks 17, even with a suit and hotdog shoved in his mouth.
3) Oliver Stone loves the 80’s, or cashing in on current financial collapses. One of those two things.
A Nightmare on Elm Street-Sequel or Remake?
From a classic monster to a modern classic! This one has potential. The trailer makes this film seem to be following the original almost too closely. Could this be a shot for shot remake deal? I’m intrigued.
OK, this is going on too long. There’s just too many movies to keep it up. A partial list of this upcoming year of remakes looks like this: The Crazies, Piranha 3-D, Robin Hood, The A-Team (maybe more like an adaptation of the TV show), The Karate Kid, Footloose, etc.
Not to mention sequels like Iron Man 2, Sex and the City 2, Toy Story 3, Shrek 4, Predators, Step Up 3-D, another Meet the Fockers movie, new Twilight movies, new Harry Potter movies, and even a sequel to the CG animated Cats & Dogs.
For fairness, here are a few non remake 2010 abominations-in-the-making of note: An action comedy with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Another action comedy with Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl. A full length film adaptation of the SNL skit MacGruber. A Jennifer Aniston rom-com entitled The Baster, as in turkey baster. Is it just me or will this be the worst year in movies ever?
If you need me I’ll be busy re-watching the trailers for Kick-Ass, my most anticipated film adaptation of the year.
This next one is red band.