Damn, Dave

Another week, another celebrity sex scandal. Seriously famous folks, you live in the fucking spotlight. Can’t you learn that you need to work a little on keeping it in your pants?

Annie said it right the other day, “Why would a celebrity even make a sex tape?”

Why indeed would a national figure, be he the President or a late night talk show host, risk all of that work for a couple minutes on Mister Toad’s wild ride?

Yesterday, David Letterman told the entire nation that he slept with staff members on his show for years. He also told us that he’s only telling us this in the first place cause we were going to find out anyways. Better to hear it from the jackass’ mouth first I guess.

He was going to be blackmailed, or so the sordid story goes. So he gave it up. Now this stuff happened before Letterman was married, and so far I don’t think anything under age or non consensual happened, but David can’t not look a little sleazy for this. Too bad to. He seemed like a stand up guy there. Even had Obama on his show last week. What a difference a day makes.

Now Letterman, like many other entertainers before him, including recently in the news Roman Polanski-who by the way I am no longer forgiving, the man is a fucking criminal- is stirring up emotions about just what it means to be a flawed figure in the public eye. An eye that has no room for flaws. People are being all, “how could he make all those Monica Lewinsky jokes then?” Like they’re shocked that he would.

People, please get lives. Soon.

People, please get lives. Soon.

This is coming only months after Letterman pissed off a bunch of uptights with a joke about Sarah Palin’s daughter and Alex Rodriguez. He’s really not on his best this year it seems.

But at least he’s not painfully unfunny like NBC’s late night shtick. Conan and Jimmy Fallen hurt, really hurt most of the time. And Leno’s new show? The fuck is happening to late night? Johnny Carson is rolling around in his grave. Probably Ed McMahon too.

What do I think of this whole affair? Frankly, it ain’t none of my business, and I stopped watching Letterman when he stopped throwing shit off of roofs. So what the fuck ever. But seriously celebrities. You guys need to shape the Hell up. This is getting ridiculous now.

Also, Glenn Beck may have raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.

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2 Comments

Filed under TV Sucks

2 responses to “Damn, Dave

  1. Nate

    But Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride is awesome!

    I was part of that crowd, not to demand him getting fired, I love Dave, he’s the only late night I ever watch, but for the fun of it, and no, people in NY have nothing better to do, at least the wannabe prudes who are probably deviants at home.

    Seriously, he didn’t commit any crimes, he cheated on his wife (gf at the time) and that’s between them, it isn’t anyone else’s biz. Yes, celebs’ sex scandals/videos are getting tired (like the current vampire craze) but unlike other people, this isn’t something he did for shameful publicity or we would have known about it back then. Celebs should know that everyone now sleeps with them just to get famous themselves ’cause that’s the kind of society we have evolved to, but this isn’t going to stop anytime soon: we are all humans and humans can’t resist sex anymore that you can make yourself stop eating or breathing. They can’t keep it in the pants ’cause there are no pants anymore.

    • Charlie

      If I lived in NY, I totally would have been there in the crowds too. Just to see it for myself. But all I can do is google these things and then write about them, so it’ll have to do.

      And no, he can’t keep it in his pants. For they are Worldwide Pants indeed

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