The last thing David Carradine did before he died.

What’s more embarrassing than death by masturbation? Appearing on the worst show on TV less than a week later!

A few posts back I called Dollhouse the stupidest, and by association, worst show on TV. I was wrong. There’s a new king of the stupid hill. I give you Mental.

Dont look in his eyes!

Don't look in his eyes!

In a fictional world of well funded, sexy looking psychiatric wards, in downtown L.A. no less, the absolute sexiest ward gets a brand new director, Dr. Jack Gallagher. But this is no ordinary director. This one thinks outside the box. He’s unconventional, unorthodox, unpredictable, uninteresting.

This has to be one of the worst characters ever. Really. Ever. I can’t actually believe how stupid this character is. I actually found myself shouting things at the screen like, “That’s the dumbest fucking thing I ever heard!”

Even before the title. The stupid, stupid title! A zipper across his forehead?! The fuck?

The supporting cast is no better, a bunch of air headed, dumb assed, cardboard cutouts of sexy interns, sexy bosses, and very sexy guest patients.

The Pilot episode infuriated me (and Annie for good measure) when it basically decided to live completely outside of reality. I would’ve loved to see a show about an actual psyche ward. Crazy, dirty, an E.R. of nut jobs. But this is like a casual day psyche ward. Every one’s strolling around, hair down, no uniforms, joking and saying things like, “This is all about making YOU better.”

The second episode was even worse when it began with a doctor/patient three legged race on the lawn. ” Highly unusual” was the best they could stammer.

NO ONE WOULD FUND THIS SHIT!

THERE’S NOT EVEN ANY LAWNS THAT BIG IN L.A.

NOBODY BEHAVES THIS WAY!

(These are the first three things I screamed in the first 90 seconds or so.)

It’s like they gave the keys to the nut house to this guy!

How unorthodox of you, Doctor.

How unorthodox of you, Doctor.

But the third episode has really done it. Dr. Gallagher basically shoves a pharmaceutical employee DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!! They’re calling for his job, finally, but he doesn’t look too worried, he’s just so focused on the patients. It’s all about making them feel better after all.

And there’s David Carradine, legendary actor and martial arts expert. Annnnd… he’s playing a vegetable. Sigh.

They’re doing some electro something therapy on him, where we see, in Carradine’s mind, him flying in some clouds? With his wife? Is he dead? Is he trying to die?

The daughter wants him to live, but would rather see him dead than a vegetable. Oh yeah, his name’s Gideon. No Bible references here.The episodes just called The Book Of Fucking Judges. Okay, I added to that a bit.

What follows is an Awakenings type story. You seen Awakenings? Just think of DeNiro sitting and staring at nothing. Now picture Carradine doing it. Ya got it, kid!

It's got Academy Awards written all over it! Williams in a beard? Hoorah!

It's got Academy Awards written all over it! Williams in a beard? Hoorah!

Just let him die! Oh God. Stop this madness. It’s utter fucking madness.

I can barely get through 45 minutes of this crap. This show is AWFUL. So maddeningly terrible and sickeningly stupid, and I can’t wait till FOX gets their head out of their ass AGAIN and cancel this one. I think Dollhouse is better than this. And Dollhouse suuuuucks.

Here’s a quick top five: Famous Actor’s last roles before Dying.

1. Orson Wells as Unicron in Transformers: The Movie (1986) Almost as sad as the death of Optimus Prime!

2. John Candy in Wagons East! (1994)/Chris Farley in Almost Heroes (1998)  Both westerns? Spooky.

3. Heath Ledger as the Joker in the Dark Knight (2009) No joke about this one. Ironic. Joker. No joke. Hmm.

4. Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon (1973)/ Brandon Lee in The Crow (1994) Even more spooky.

5.Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes in Soul Men (2008) Hate to be the marketing guy for that film.

RIP David Carradine.

My sympathies to his family, and his biographers. Awkward last chapter to say the least.

-Charlie

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