TV has one main problem with making and producing television shows. They don’t know when the hell to end them. It’s against the nature of television writers to stop telling the story they have spent the last five years (or more) working on. So TV ends up getting flooded with programs that were intended to run briefly, but became indefinitely continued for being so popular (Prison Break) or once quality staples completely run their course years before the series actually ends ( seven goddamn seasons of MacGyver?)
And I’m not talking about daytime shows, those aren’t the same. Daytime is supplied for the direct purpose of making every day the same over and over again, same court cases, same plot twists on soap operas, same guests on the View.
I need to take a minute to politely ask a few prime time shows to pack it up, quit it, cut it, wrap it, let it go. Enough is enough. Spare us already.
If you’re still watching this show religiously, hats off to you. I tried to love this show, really I did. I spent days-days-watching this show. Even in Thailand, Annie and I were sucked into six hours of season two. But enough is enough.
There was nothing wrong with an originally single season proposal going to two or three seasons long. The show was red hot. Questions remained unanswered, pulling the plot into newer and crazier places every turn. It could go bad at any time, but it would get soooo good again. “Seriously.”
It’s a drug people. An opium of sandy beaches, blue ocean water and mystery. A very interesting premise complete with every little addicting plot line flashing back to such storied lives, you wanted to know everything about everyone and you couldn’t get enough!
And then they killed off Charlie. I didn’t like that.
Really though, it got to that point where you knew they were just making it up as they went along. It lost a big part of it’s legitimacy. I don’t like stories that string us along with no end in sight. Only the X-Files gets away with that, and even then I dropped out of that show before it was done. Lost is absolutely lost on me. Oh, the island disappears now? Time travel now? Fuck off.
The original BBC version brilliantly spared us after only a handful of episodes, because any more would have literally killed us with awkwardness. Which is what Steve Carrell is still doing after five years straight.
It goes like this: The Office (USA) sucked the first season since it was a line for line rip off of the original. Everyone knows this. But, I propose that the series actually found a very funny and good-natured footing in the second season and rode it all the way through the third. Now the episodes are getting just a wee bit out of hand, dispelling a lot of the “documentary style” authenticity ( emotional bits) the show goes for.
Also, there’s no more story. 1)Jim and Pam are basically married, so that story arch is DEAD/DONE/FINITE! 2)Jim and Dwight have zero of the animosity they once had 3)Dwight is no longer obsessed with the position of assistant regional manager, nor is Michael obsessed with hating Toby. 4)Michael Scott has had two girlfriends, has quit, come back, worn disguises, all of that shit. All the relationships are played out. Pam’s not even the effing receptionist anymore. C’mon. It’s over. Let’s call it a day already.
Hear me out. I love the Simpsons. I do. Once, it was one of the funniest shows on TV. No scratch that. It was the funniest show on TV. A cornerstone of modern television comedy. But it’s been 20 years now. Nobody will be as good as the Simpsons in the mid 90’s, not even the Simpsons.
Watching a recent episode, approximately the 425th in their time, brought it all to a head for me. I realized that the Simpsons are now essentially a mixtape of former plots and jokes spread at random to avoid suspicion. Every gag was eerily familiar, though maybe character roles were reversed or the trigger for the gag different. But there was no mistaking the obviousness. It’s time for the Simpsons to realize enough is enough.
Let’s remember the good times, please. Let’s just all bask in that first decade of brilliance, where the jokes felt bold in their irreverence and new in their brashness, resounding over and over again. I could still watch those old ones every day till I die. That would, in fact, not be enough. Mostly, I just want those memories unsullied by new sleek digital animation, re-worked (poorly) opening sequences, and recycled plots. I want my Simpsons, but not like this.
Today’s episodes are not the same. This show should have ended years ago. Make more Futurama. That still has some life in it.
It’s either you or CSI, I don’t have time for two multi-series franchises. And they just got Laurence fucking Fishburne. Who you got?
I think you’re through Law & Order.
Reality TV (all of it)
Remember when reality TV was kinda cool, like Cops or Wild and Crazy Kids?
The only thing this stuff is good for nowadays is reality clip time on The Soup. Reality TV has run it’s brief course, it needs to be dumped. I don’t know anyone, ANYONE, who watches reality TV. Where are they getting the audiences to justify Groomer Has It and Farmer Wants a Wife? Please. Stop it. This isn’t reality. You know it isn’t.
The worst is the trend of scripted reality shows. I mean, fake reality TV? Did I get that right? They want us to think these are real people, but they tell us they’re not. But we’re supposed to think they’re real. But they’re not. But they are. But they’re not.
This is known as the logic vacuum. It sucks out the sensible pieces of thought to leave the viewer in a stupidity spiral. This can last anywhere from 30 minutes on a Wednesday night to three hours or more on a sunny Sunday afternoon of reruns.
Stop watching fake reality TV. And REALLY stop watching the reruns. There’s a whole actual real world out there. Go to it.