Nine hours in to the new decade and I just got dissed. What’s worse is I had zero comeback. Nothing. I was stunned, not only because someone was calling me out on New Year’s morning, but dude. Nobody, but NOBODY says the Cure suck. And here’s why:
10. Boys Don’t Cry
Yes, I see the irony in acting like a whiny little baby, and then start off with “Boys Don’t Cry,” but that’s just how it’s going to be. One of the catchiest pop riffs ever, the song is simple, yet wholly memorable, tapping into truth and insight in two and a half minutes. And Robert Smith was barely 20 when he wrote that. It only gets better from here.
9. the hair
Oooohhh, the hair. Good God, it’s just so… so… big. I guess once you go Aquanet, you can’t go back. I don’t know, for me the hair is awesome. All of that effort, so many hours and curlers and shit, just to look like that. You know what that is people? It fucking dedication to the cause! You know what? Same goes for the eyeliner! You go, goth!
8. the year that was 1982
Besides sporting one of the best title/cover combos in music history, this album defined the Cure as a post punk innovator and pioneer in 1982. Nobody sounded like this when the album hit our shores (maybe Joy Division), full of tribal drums and brutal wails, its almost like an early 80’s precursor to today’s black metal.
And now for something completely different.
No this video itself is not from 1982, but the song is. Two reasons to post this video. Not only is “Let’s Go to Bed” a critical point in the bands time line and growth, but DAMN! look at Robert Smiths short short haircut! Holy Geez.
So after Pornography, there was a bit of a detox that needed to happen. The band was in bleak states, almost breaking up in the process. Smith, on his own, set out to “write the antithesis for what the Cure stood for ” at the time. What emerged was a highly energetic, danceable, and goddamn fun as all hell song. It became so popular that Smith would feel comfortable in the future to write such greats as “Why Can’t I be You?” “Friday, I’m in Love” and “In Between Days,” all amazing songs.
7. Robert Smith’s awesome F-Bombs
It doesn’t happen often, in fact it’s quite rare. But once in a great while Robert Smith will just drop the most amazing F-Bomb in his lyrics. Most notably on “The Kiss,” the opener to Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me.
Oh, it’s a dark intro, building and building. You can tell things are bad as Smith starts in with “Kiss me kiss me kiss me/Your tongue is like poison/So swollen it fills up my mouth”
But when he really gets into it, you just want to stand back, give the man some room, and he needs it as he explodes with “Get it out get it out get it out/Get your fucking voice out of my head.” It’s probably the single most satisfying F-Bomb in music. So good.
A quick little side band to show you. Cult Hero was formed briefly in 1979, right before the Cure became known for Three Imaginary Boys. The Cure was basically joined by Smith’s sisters and a local postman, and released two incredible songs, “I’m a Cult Hero” and “I Dig You”. Just listen to ‘em. You’ll love it.
While you’re at it, just listen to the whole Seventeen Seconds album. I am.
When you think of the great duos in history, Batman and Robin, peanut butter and jelly, Donald Trump and his toupee; few things go together as well as Robert Smith and Simon Gallup. The Cure’s bassist for most all of their thirty years, Gallup was even Robert Smiths best man. That, and he’s one of the most imitated, influential musicians out there. Make no mistake, more than one of your favorite bassists had Simon Gallup in the back of their mind when they bought their first four string.
4. Close to Me
Speaking of Simon, how ya like that bass line from “Close to Me?” My personal favorite video of theirs. It speaks for itself.
3. 4:13 Dream
That’s right assholes. I love the latest Cure album. The most common complaints about the group usually focus on their recent output. For some reason, starting with Wild Mood Swings and Bloodflowers in the 90’s, the Cure sound was no longer cool. WTF?
I love that Smith and these guys (by the way the current lineup is maybe the best for outright musicianship) are still at it. If the Rolling Stones or motherfucking KISS with their stupid as fuck FACE PAINT AND HIGH HEEL BOOTS are still cool in their old age-and they’re not, really- then the Cure, who have never tried to retire only to come out of it and play for more expensive ticket sales, are still cool.
The band still sounds just like the Cure on this highly underrated album, from the pretty, sappy pop of “The Only One,” the heavy use of chimes and the rock solid riffs on every track. It’s at least worth checking out, sure this isn’t a masterpiece, more just a minor work from a master, but whatever, whatever. It’s good.
2. that South Park episode
You know that episode where Mecha Streisand is terrorizing South park? And the only man who can save us is Robert Smith. Apparently, Trey parker and Matt Stone would agree with me that…
1. “Disintegration is the best album ever!”
It is you know. Combining the early gothic stuff with a melodic undertow and sublime songwriting, there is nothing, not one second of this album that I don’t cherish. Please, please listen to this album once in your life, preferably in a dark room with the sound turned all the fucking way up. Superb. This is why I like music.
So there you go mean girl who thinks the Cure suck. Take that. You have successfully revived my complete and utter devotion to a group that I had sort of stopped thinking about for awhile. Thank you for reminding me why I proudly wear my hoodie, and by the way, you suck!